Understanding Over-Responsibility: Strategies for a Balanced Life

If you’re someone who tends to take on the weight of the world, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with the tendency to fix everyone else’s problems. This behaviour can lead to stress, anxiety, and ultimately burnout. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to juggle it all.

Strategy One: Know What’s Actually Your Responsibility

Imagine you're an octopus. Instead of gliding through the ocean gracefully, you have eight arms stretched in every direction. One arm holds a work project. Another comforts a friend. A third deals with family issues. Yet another attempts to keep up with social obligations. As you add more to your plate, the pressure mounts. Eventually, one arm gets tired, something slips, and everything starts to fall apart.

This scenario illustrates over-responsibility. When you attempt to manage everything at once, it becomes challenging to focus on any single task. The key is realizing that you don’t have to handle it all. By stepping back and identifying what’s truly yours to manage, you can relieve the unnecessary burden you carry.

Ask yourself: What’s really my responsibility here? If it’s not your job to fix a problem or manage someone else’s feelings, let it go. Just like an octopus has limits, so do you. Focus on what’s within your control and allow yourself to breathe.

Strategy Two: Say No (Without Guilt)

People who feel over-responsible often fall into the trap of saying “yes” to everything. Picture a performer in a circus, juggling a dozen flaming torches. Initially, it seems manageable. However, the longer you try to keep all those torches in the air, the greater the risk of losing one and creating chaos.

When you keep taking on more tasks without saying no, burnout is inevitable. You may feel exhausted, frustrated, and resentful—towards others and often towards yourself. Like a juggler who understands their limits, getting comfortable with letting go is vital.

Saying “no” doesn’t imply selfishness; it preserves your mental and emotional energy. Imagine you’re in a circus act. You've realized there are simply too many flaming torches in the air. It’s time to let some of them fall and focus on the ones you can manage. Start small: “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”

With practice, you’ll discover that saying no is a critical aspect of maintaining control over your life.

Strategy Three: Harmful vs. Helpful Responsibility – The Lioness Analogy

As a parent or caretaker, you may feel a profound sense of responsibility for others' well-being. However, there’s a distinction between being helpful and being overbearing. Picture a lioness in the wild. She fiercely protects her cubs, but she doesn’t do everything for them. Instead, she teaches them how to hunt and navigate their environment, enabling them to thrive independently.

This shows the difference between harmful and helpful responsibility. Constantly shielding others from their consequences hinders their growth. It’s akin to a lioness doing all the work for her cubs—however loving, it ultimately doesn’t help them become strong and self-reliant.

On the flip side, helpful responsibility means guiding and encouraging others while allowing them to take ownership of their actions. You can offer advice and support, but you don’t have to solve every problem for them. Think of the lioness—her true gift is enabling her cubs to stand on their own. You can do the same by letting go of the urge to control everything and allowing others to manage their own lives.

The Takeaway

If you find yourself carrying the weight of the world, juggling numerous responsibilities, or trying to shield others from their challenges, it’s time to pause. Over-responsibility may seem beneficial, but it can exhaust you and become damaging to yourself and those around you.

Just as an octopus can only manage so many arms, a juggler can only keep so many balls in the air, and a lioness can only do so much for her cubs, you too need to recognize your limits. You don’t need to bear everyone else's burdens. The world will continue to turn even if you let go of some weight.

Reflect on this question: Is this really my responsibility, or am I trying to fix something that isn’t mine to manage? Begin setting boundaries, practicing saying no when necessary, and allowing others the space to grow and take accountability for their actions.

Allow yourself the freedom to let go for a while. You deserve to rest.

If you struggle with over-responsibility and would like help putting down what’s not yours to carry, please reach out!

Book a complimentary 15-minute call with Madeleine here.